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Roommate incident

April 16, 2007

I have two American roommates, N whom I live with for almost two years and another guy, named G whom we recruited recently about three months ago. N knew G so despite the fact that I did not have good feelings about him in the first place, N convinced me to let him in.

We are both sorry for that decision. It is like hiring is easy but firing is hard. He behaves badly. He says nasty words about others, acts reactively and is very sensitive about “respect” matter, partly because he is almost 40 years old. We both suspect that this guy has bipolar problems.

We just have to live the fact anyway.

This morning he was in a crazy mood. After I returned home from my English lesson at Church, I saw him besides his moody face. As I was in my room, I heard him open my room and showed anger when he saw his sandals in my room. Simply, that was not a sign of respect for his stuff, namely himself. He slammed the door of my room, saying nasty words and went downstairs.

I said sorry at the fact and then said nothing. I understand the psyche of such a guy so I drove to my office to do my reading.

I wrote an email to him:

  • saying that I understand that his action and explained that I used his sandals out of convenience just as he used my rice, my things and others, not because I gave no respect for him.
  • I said I want to let N know about this so we never touch his stuff again.
  • I let him know that I reported to the Police however I don’t ask them to come at him.
  • Basically I wanted to show that I am reasonable and not afraid of him.

I remember brother Hoanh’s tact, so in sending biking speech to my friend, I cc-ed to him. I then don’t care about this guy anymore and focus on my work. Nothing more I can do. No response from him.

When I got home at night, I was surprised. There is a new pair of sandals by the door of my room. This guy is stupid but not too stupid. I will follow up with “the child” 🙂

It’s like a tale, like Les Miserables. If I was reactive at the guy (I could kill him if I had to), it’s not good for the long run and just belittle myself. I tried to help him and engage others in if I can’t. It costs me time but there seems to be no better option.

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